Stop being so grumpy. It could be worse. For example...

I do love mornings! Not the "getting-up" part, or the "few-grumpy-minutes-before-the-kettle-boils" part obviously, but after then, when I'm wide awake and can find the mental capacity to laugh at everything and everyone. I try not to get annoyed in the morning, especially if I have to commute somewhere. This is for a very good reason, you see. I see every morning the same people getting very and hilariously wound up behind the wheel of their car in the jams. I can even see them shouting abuse at everything before them, which simply means I can insert my own amusing commentary to what they're saying, or give these complete strangers, who I see all the time, their own nicknames. Hey, some of those traffic jams are pretty long, I'll have you know! Anyway, I am always cheery on a long morning drive for a very good reason. I call them "They".

"They" are a secretive and evil society of people. Their sole purpose in life is to locate those drivers who are running late, even by a few seconds, and to co-operate to make them as late as possible. Seriously, have you ever noticed that if you leave even slightly late, you seem to get everyone else on the road acting together to hold you up? You get stuck at the back of a line behind a driver doing about 4mph, who in turn is being followed by a lorry so you can't overtake? How frustrating is that? You breathe a sigh of relief when "They" indicate to turn off (about a mile before the turning) only to let out another slow driver out before they go, as if they're doing it in relay! Arg! And when you finally get round to overtaking, you see that the driver, who's struggling to see over the wheel through their massive glasses, looks like they sat just behind Jesus in Middle School. They're always thousands of years old. Then, more of "They" wait at all the red lights and push the buttons just as you arrive. Not anyone else, just you. So now you know why this happens, next time you're late, just say "They held me up". Everyone will understand.

However, I am cheery because I have very little to worry about, as do you. Just imagine if your name is Katherine, and you're due to marry someone called William on 29th April this year, and it just so happens that your future husband is a Prince? Not only do you have to worry about planning the wedding of the decade, but a sea of photographers that want to take pictures of you, every moment of the day. There's newspapers like the Daily Mail who will worry if you're not 100% perfect in every way, there's the Daily Star, who will pray that someone catches a stray shot of you coming out of the shower, and there's the Morning Star, who will call for you to be lined up and shot because your Dad happened to go out and make something of himself and your partner happens to hold a title that even his Dad is eyeing up. You could be living in Libya right now, where the slow drivers are the least of your worries compared to the mad ranting boss. You could be called Jamie Theakston, and have to wake up every day in the knowledge that your career consists of doing Milk adverts and living with some very unfortunate rumours.

However, your life doesn't consist of these. Your life consists of you getting up, going to work in a half-asleep and unnecessarily angry mood, whinging about some of the most meaningless things, drinking your own bodyweight in coffee and then going home to drink your own bodyweight in wine. You don't have to worry about whether there's some Pap hanging out of your window when you're on the loo, you don't have to worry about mass riots on your favourite rat-run and you don't have to worry about what the lady's giggling at when you say "Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston". Compared to many others in the world, your life is very easy. Yes, you have a bill hanging over your head. It isn't mass drought, or an axe. Everything's relative.

So smile! Be nice, have something fun to look forward to in life. You're only here for a few measly decades, so why worry about your bi-annual productivity report? Just do your best at work and then remember what life's about: enjoying yourself!

Where to start, you ask? Well why not come up with a nickname for that dour-faced man you see every day? You know, the one who clearly has no dress-sense, and is shamelessly wearing that haircut?

Or even better, give him a smile! He may just pass it on.

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