In HollywoodLand, Money Isn't Needed. In The Real World....

I'd personally love nothing more than to live in that funny colourful world where Hollywood Script-writers are grown. I mean, if you look at some of the stuff that they make, it sounds like absolute bliss, where wildlife programs don't end with the seal killing the penguin in a sloppy red mess. Instead, the naughty seal just misses the resilient penguin, who goes off afterwards with Mrs penguin to open a Fair-Trade vegan cafe.  Are you a hopeless romantic? Well don't worry, there's tons of case-studies from Scriptland that tells us that you'll get that 6ft Supermodel that you're pining after in the end. Your boss being a megalomaniac? Never fear, he'll be usurped in a fit of frustration and throwing of many papers, followed by the entire office living happily ever after. Born with facial features that don't have a sense of teamwork? Never mind, your personality will shine through! It's all so rosy and middle-class.


There is a theme in an awful lot of movies that I've noticed recently. Films such as "Wall Street", "It's a Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Carol" and "Citizen Kane". In these, we see someone with a runaway career and so much money they blow their noses on £50 notes just to spend it. Then, they eventually notice they have left something at home which they learn is called a "family" or something, and decide that actually everything else is more important than money, leading them to quit their job, normally in the middle of a boardroom meeting in the most fantastically dramatic fashion while telling their grumpy boss to stick their job, and then walk out of the office carrying a small child, with their head held high. What a fantastic message, don't you think? They can now go home and spend all of their time being a perfect parent and husband/wife, just like those shiny people in the adverts. I mean, why were they even working in the first place? I dunno, something about a mortgage, car, bills and so forth? Probably nothing important, right? Because money can't buy you happiness!

Can money buy peace of mind? Well, there was an email that did the rounds a few years back. I can't find it anymore, but it went along the lines of this: Rich businessman speaks to poor subsistence Mexican fisherman who spends his time sleeping in late, playing with his kids, playing guitar and only fishing to get what he needs for his family. The businessman suggests that he expands his fishing trade to buy more boats, grows the distribution, spreads out and then in about 20 years he can sell the business and make millions, all so he can retire and sleep in late, play with the kids, play guitar etc. Basically, the businessman is made to look like a bit of a wally and the fisherman looks like he's got it aaaaaall worked out. Thing is, anyone who has lived the "nice easy life" of working very little, having a tiny income and a family to support will look at this idealised scenario and ask what Mr Fisherman bloke does when his roof starts leaking? Or if he needs major dental work? Or if he finds that he develops a crippling fear of water? On the dental side, just a damaged root canal can cost your whole month's pay. Money won't stop these things from happening, but it will mean you won't worry about what happens if they do, which is about as close to the definition of "peace of mind" as I can imagine, so even if I did find myself in a movie, I'd probably resign myself to complaining about it at the end of  the week to friends. Oh dear, it looks like we have one Hollywood ideal blown out of the water. But surely there's others that still hold up?

Let's not forget about hobbies here! As much as I'd like to call "going on holiday" a hobby, I'm talking about little things that you do to pass the time. As you can read, I enjoy writing, what with it being my job and all. But I would do it for fun before I was here. It doesn't cost me much in the way of sitting on the sofa, tappety tapping on the keyboard, or even stretching as far as scribbly scribbling on a piece of paper (not that you'd be able to translate the mish-mash of shapes and lines into words). You remember that kid at school that would seem to look forward to writing a report or making up a story in English? Yeah, that was me. Now writing is basically free. I know it costs to buy a pen and paper, or the electricity for the 'puter, but imagine if you were Mrs Max and you enjoy painting pretty pictures? I don't know if you've noticed, but canvas isn't cheap. Neither is paint. If you like making those nice 3D-esque oil paintings, then it starts getting very expensive! If you've just stormed out of your bosses office after a Hollywood-style revelation about how important the little pleasures are in life, you'll quickly find out that, ironically, the long hard work is what pays for the little pleasures.

So work is sometimes a complete pain. How many times have you sat at your desk, looking out the window and wishing you could just throw the papers in the air, scream "bored now" and walk out to freedom? Why haven't you done it yet? Because we're not all so daft as to forget that the light-switch works because of that boring time you spend in the office every day! And be honest with yourself; your job isn't all that bad, is it?

Well, not as bad as the alternative, which can be summed up in these scary words: cheap brand toilet paper!





(images credited to photostockGuaur Codrin)

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