There Are Better Ways To Get Famous Than Big Brother.

After literally a whole night's thought at the pub, I've decided that I don't really want to be a "celebrity". By that, I don't mean someone like Sir Alan Sugar or one of the suited folk from Dragon's Den. They're successful in their own right, and just happen to be well-known due to some pokey show on BBC2. I don't even mean Phillip Scofield famous, where your job is to sit in front of a camera and chat to Jamie Oliver about his latest tomato. No, I mean the ones who are famous and well-paid, yet for the life of me I can't quite work out what it is they do: the "professional Celebrity". Chantelle, for example, turned up on Big Brother presumably for a joke. No-one in the house knew what she did, but she seemed to have the reading age of a chinchilla and the vocabulary of a teaspoon, so they assumed she must be a rich socialite at least... and that's it! That's all she's really done. Yet if she got married again, Hello would be tripping over themselves to be at the do, taking arty shots.


The problem with being this kind of "celebrity" is that you're totally at the mercy of the press. For people like Scofield (or Angus Deaton as a classic example) you'd need to do something spectacularly bad to be hounded by the tabloids, but not if you're a professional celebrity. You're not a well-loved TV personality, you're not a respected businessman, you're not a talented singer or actor. The moment they become bored of you, that's it, game over, grab your coat on your way out to the real world. It's too risky for my liking. However, I can see the appeal of being well-known. People are more willing to listen to your opinions, people will go out of their way to do things for you, and before it gets boring, the idea of people really wanting to take your picture will boost my ego no end! The issue is the road to becoming famous, and the reason I won't be having people queueing round the corner to snap shots of my wedding.

First, you could do it the honest way, but let's face it; the talent that the top presenters have is immense. Sure, you may look at what they do and conclude that it's a piece of cake, but trust me: it's really not. I've done presenting on a smaller scale and it's so difficult. You have to look the part, sound the part and have clear crisp and precise diction. You have to read Autocue like a boss, and make it look like you're just that quick on the words that it's all from your mind. The fact that they do this with such ease that it looks like no effort is testament to their talent. Therefore, as it's going to be hard to trump them, I'll pass on this route. At the other end, there's Paris Hilton's route to fame..... let's gloss over that one, shall we?

And that was pretty much it, if we were talking seven years ago. There's a fantastic medium now that has totally revolutionised how we see people and promote ourselves. It's called Social Networking. Now, I'm a fan of a website called Reddit. Reddit lets users submit their own content in the form of funny pictures of comics, stories, really anything you want. They have lots of cool sub-categories to post in from the obvious "funny" to others such as "Todayilearned, "Politics" etc. Other people can vote your content up or down. It's all great fun, and there's some very witty and talented people on there. One such person I can remember, was a man called Matt, who after years of hard work managed to get himself into a commercial for AT&T in America, selling a BlackBerry. It was a teeny tiny part, with his only line being "Huh?", not exactly oscar-winning stuff, but commercial work nonetheless. He was so proud of his work, that he posted a link to the YouTube video onto Reddit. In less than a day, he'd become a pseudo-celebrity on the website. People had started turning his image into cartoons, and praising his work. The YouTube video has gathered nearly 700,000 hits, whereas other commercials by AT&T have been lucky to get 1,000. Why so many hits? Well look at the comments; all those people on Reddit have gone to the video and praised the "fantastic moment that guy said huh". He even has many articles about him. He's just a normal average guy, don't forget! It might only be a flash-in-the-pan deal, but what a way to get famous!

This is my preferred route. I would get paid for the work to start with, and if ever I was feeling down, I'd just check the video again and see all those strangers praising my work. Then, you can get on with enjoying your life without worrying about Paparazzi, gossip or any of those nastiness. In an interview, if they asked what's your biggest achievement, you'd just say "well...there was that one time when I was the talking point of the internet for a week".

Which sure beats having to "accidentally" release a video of your night-time activities.

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