Whoever Would Go On A Holiday Where You Build Your Own Accommodation? Me.

Tomorrow morning, roughly around 5am, you'll find me sitting in my car, making my merry way to Berkshire. When I get there, I plan to abandon my car in a field somewhere only to proceed on foot to a river. This won't be the most fun thing I'll do all day, considering that I'll be carrying four days' worth of clothes/food/tent/spare socks with me. After I've crossed the barren wilderness of middle England, I'll take the expedition across the river that's, oooh, about 10 feet across. Following that, I expect to make the arduous trek across yet more fields to find yet another field. At this point, having not given up and tried to find somewhere with plug sockets and a roof, I will spend what will feel like millions of years building a tent; which must be the hardest thing to build at 8am after exploring the desolate land west of London since the Pyramids! Then, I plan to live in this construction without the aid of such necessities as Broadband or Chewits or fridge-freezers for four whole days while I listen to a lot of well-paid people have a sing-song. Then I go home.

Yes, I am going to the Reading Festival!

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Stop Complaining, You'll Miss The Silver Lining Otherwise!

Today's blog comes to you from only one hand, because I accidentally ran full pelt into a gate last night. Ouch!

Anywhoo, I'd like to discuss a flat with you all. This flat is in the lovely (hmm...) town of Sandy, Bedfordshire. A nice two-bedroom number on the top floor near to local amenities etc. Mrs Max and I were looking to buy this little place a while ago as our first home. We were as excited as, well, two people buying their first home would be. Well... excited wasn't really the word by the end of it, as it was such a pain in the proverbial to try and sort it that it felt like kicking the business end of a meat-grinder would have been mildly more enjoyable. The guy who owned the flat seemed to disappear from the face of the earth after accepting our offer, meaning that we got bored with waiting. Then we found out that the ceiling in one of the rooms was, and I quote from the survey, "about to fall down" and they couldn't explain why the last guy had put new wall coverings in the living room. Not to worry, there was another place on the ground floor that was exactly the same, so we tried to get that one. No joy, he wanted full price (despite it being so damp you could call it a water feature and so much mould it was practically a pet) and then decided to rent it out at the last minute. By this point, we were so sick of the whole shooting-match that we gave up and rented.

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Get the world into perspective. Trust me, it's a big place.

Here's something that makes me go all weird for a few minutes if I think about it: the Earth's crust is only 70km thick at it's largest point, and something like 5-10km thick at the lowest points of the ocean bed. below that is 2,200km of mantle. Have you ever seen lava flow from a volcano? That stuff is magma. This swirls round at stupidly hot temperatures at very high pressure, and moves the earths crust around. Want to know what causes things like earthquakes and grounds your flight to Iceland? That'll be the mantle. below that is the core. This is mostly iron and is more dense than your average Big Brother contestant. it's constant moving causes the magnetic field that helps you find your way. It is unimaginably hot, and the whole shebang goes down a total of 6,500km, which is about the distance from England to Uganda. Wowzers!

Now, look at the ground. All that is going on right under your feet, right now!

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Stop being so grumpy. It could be worse. For example...

I do love mornings! Not the "getting-up" part, or the "few-grumpy-minutes-before-the-kettle-boils" part obviously, but after then, when I'm wide awake and can find the mental capacity to laugh at everything and everyone. I try not to get annoyed in the morning, especially if I have to commute somewhere. This is for a very good reason, you see. I see every morning the same people getting very and hilariously wound up behind the wheel of their car in the jams. I can even see them shouting abuse at everything before them, which simply means I can insert my own amusing commentary to what they're saying, or give these complete strangers, who I see all the time, their own nicknames. Hey, some of those traffic jams are pretty long, I'll have you know! Anyway, I am always cheery on a long morning drive for a very good reason. I call them "They".

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Sam Burke - the UK’s youngest Recovery Operator?

We’re probably fed up to the back teeth with the budding Branson’s we see ‘Dragon’s Den’ and ‘The Apprentice’, all of whom think they have found the panacea to their future. However occasionally we come across a real inspiration – a shining example to us all.

One of our clients sells recovery vehicles, those big trucks that carry our cars away when they get sick or are clamped. One of their customers seems to have broken the record and is a leading contender not just for the ‘Entrepreneur of the Year’ but at only 16, he must be one of the youngest ever.

The star in question is one Sam Burke who at the tender age of 15 founded Burke Bros Recovery - and that was before he could hold a driving licence!

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