The AV vote really just shows how daft we all really are.

Last weekend, there was this thing on called a Royal Wedding. There were lots of cameras, lots of police and lots of viewers. Twitter, being Twitter, was ablaze with comments about how many people fancied Kate's sister, Pippa. We all watched from the comfort of our front rooms, or the streets as it seems for some die-hard fans, as the royals turned up, we all felt a little sorry for the guy who opened the door on the Queen's car only for her to then get out the other side, and we all chuckled a little bit when the commentator announced "the Queen has decided she's had enough of the balcony". Now, not to be outdone and needing something to do while the PlayStation network was down, America decided that all good games of Hide 'n' Seek must come to an end and finally found Bin Laden. Apparently, they charged into a compound, and shot him in the face, then tipped him in the sea, followed by the awkward phone call where Obama asks Bush if he still has that big "mission accomplished" banner. The bad guy is now dead, and the Princess married her Prince. If Disney made weekends...



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Going To a Festival? Don't Annoy The Locals, Everyone Else Has!

Every Autumn, around where I live my commute is regularly held up by potatoes. No, seriously, around deepest, darkest Bedfordshire, (it be farmin' country around 'ere) every August the tractors full of tasty goods fill up their loads and trundle along the roads at what is basically walking speed, to send them off to Mr Morrisons, so you and I can enjoy a lovely salad, or a Turnip Surprise (comments at the end please, on what the Surprise is...). It does make my hay fever go bonkers, but hey, they've got shots for everything nowadays. Now, this may sound like the start of a rant, but it's barely even worth complaining about.

Those who live (or regularly commute) around London must be looking at the combo of the royal wedding this April with dread, but not half as much dread as the up and coming Olympics next year. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for them, but can you imagine trying to get the Circle Line to work, only to find the first three trains crammed up by people in "amusing" shorts, questionable baseball caps and massive cameras? Crikey, it'd drive me mad! Constantly being stopped in the street and being asked in broken English where "the big sports place lives", and not being able to get anywhere due to the endless traffic from the events, leading tourists to question if anything actually moves on the roads! If I lived there, do you know what I'd do? Go on a massive holiday! Some people are renting out their flats or houses in London to tourists who can't get a hotel, sometimes for crazy money for a week. One person I know is asking for £1,000 for a weeks stay in their central London pad to anyone who wants somewhere nice to stay during the games.

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Stop being so grumpy. It could be worse. For example...

I do love mornings! Not the "getting-up" part, or the "few-grumpy-minutes-before-the-kettle-boils" part obviously, but after then, when I'm wide awake and can find the mental capacity to laugh at everything and everyone. I try not to get annoyed in the morning, especially if I have to commute somewhere. This is for a very good reason, you see. I see every morning the same people getting very and hilariously wound up behind the wheel of their car in the jams. I can even see them shouting abuse at everything before them, which simply means I can insert my own amusing commentary to what they're saying, or give these complete strangers, who I see all the time, their own nicknames. Hey, some of those traffic jams are pretty long, I'll have you know! Anyway, I am always cheery on a long morning drive for a very good reason. I call them "They".

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