The kids in the corner are far too easily amused, it seems.-
>> Wednesday, April 27, 2011
On the face of it, rock-climbing is such a daft sport. I mean, you only need one thing to break, or your friend holding the rope to be distracted by some passing naked ramblers and you'll end up slipping, and turning into a giant pizza on the floor. You'll also find yourself wearing Lycra, which is shocking in itself, and you'll sweat buckets, making you stink worse than an MP's honesty pledge or Charlie Sheen's sanity. But, it is a good way of staying fit and active, which is why, last week during the toasty warm weather, the Peak District was loaded with climbers edging up and down the rocks in colourful shoes, enjoying the seasonal warmth. I know this, because I used to go there a lot, years ago. It was fantastic; there would be people from all over the country, enjoying themselves, nobody causing trouble, and having a good time (while making sure you weren't downwind of anyone).
Despite the fact that I haven't been climbing in ages, I can see the reason lots of people do it. It's not just a way of keeping fit, but it's fun as well; there's an enormous sense of achievement having scrambled to the top of a cliff. Even activities that aren't all sweaty and Lycra-clad still have a point to it. Those who own a PlayStation 3 will be spending most of this week looking for something else to do (and probably discovering that there's something outside the door besides the pizza man) due to their online network being down, but when it's working again, they still gave a game to beat, and a nice calm and social way to have fun. Even people who go out for a "walk", even if it's minus a gazillion outside enjoy taking in the sights, and the exercise. All in all, even if I don't have any time for any particular social activity, I still get why people do them. However, there is one that still eludes me...
I felt the urge to have late-night Mexican food the other day. As my place lacked chicken and one of those Fajita kits, I faced the prospect of a trip to Tesco's at 10:45. Have you ever been to a supermarket late at night? You feel like a ghost! The staff just don't make any acknowledgement of your presence as they do during the day, and the isles are laden with those big metal cages full of goodies. The only other people there apart from the staff, are stoners looking for something savoury. Oh, and the kids outside. You've all seen them. Skulking in the corner of a supermarket car-park, proudly displaying the contents of their "pride 'n' joy" (read: 14 year old Astra) and playing noise at full volume through their "off the back of a lorry, mate" sound system, interspersed with the revving of their engines to show off their new exhaust. Yes, Bazza, that £700 exhaust system really brings out the full potential of your wheezy 3-cylinder engine that's almost as old as you are. That must have given you, what, an extra two horsepower? Wow! That'll definitely help you do handbrake turns around the trolleys, and as we all know, that definitely makes all your girlfriends clothes fall off so you can start sharing STIs.
I truly don't understand this at all. First, if someone's going to spend thousands putting icing on their car, why do they start with such garbage in the first place? If I wanted to convert a standard house into my own palace, I would steer clear of those one-bed retirement bungalows, if you know what I mean. Also, why hang around in a supermarket car-park? The park, I can understand: it's full benches to sit on, and if you're of the disposition to swig White-Lightning from the bottle, then you're not likely to get caught. However the best place, let's be honest, is round someone's house. Why would you not go hang round a friends place? I mean, they'll have food, drink, a real toilet, lights and warmth. What could possibly be in a car-park (or the house, for that matter) that makes the damp corner the best option? Granted, people do hold formal events like this, like the Goodwood Festival of Speed, or Super-car Sunday, but these cars are at least worth looking at. I don't see a row of Ferraris every day, whereas if I want to see a Ford KA, I'll take a trip to the Motorway.
Still, not one to actively tell people what to do, I'll leave them alone and trust that they'll grow out of it. Who knows, maybe they'll take up a less confusing pass time, like the aforementioned gaming, or walking.
But not climbing. I want to get back in to that, and the last thing I want is to find Bazza hogging the cliff with his Burberry cap, or blocking the car-park with his rust-bucket!
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