Some People Seem To Just Make It Up As They Go.
>> Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The other day someone telephoned me to ask me a question about manners and customs. I know I know, I'm sure it happens to you guys all the time, right? Anywhoo, I'm asked about what can only be abbreviated to "takeaway etiquette", and the premise is this: this person had invited a friend round for a delivery from the Maharajah House, and she had sent him an email before-hand to remind the friend to bring the cash as apparently they've got a bit of a rep for forgetting their pennies when they go scoff a korma. What followed was a phone call from the friend to say how "disappointed" he was that he'd been asked to pay. He'd got it into his head that if you invite someone round for a takeaway, that the host is obliged to pay. This wasn't even a case of "I thought that the host paid", it was a definite "No! You're wrong".
Not only that, but apparently this was such a big offence that it required the use of the strongest word in the English language; "disappointed", like a Bank Manager would say! Most people will cope with "angry", "sad" or "annoyed", but "disappointed" seems so final, like they had such high expectations that you've dashed. This confused the host so much that she felt the need to call me just to make sure that this wasn't some new-fangled idea that he'd picked up from Come Dine With Me. I reassured her that she hadn't missed something, but he was adamant, and said that he normally pays for the full whack, regardless of how many people he invites round. So, guess where I'm going for dinner tonight......
I've been thinking for ages now, and I can't think of any time I've ever come up against this request as a normal person. Come to think of it, I've yet to see a look of utter surprise when a tenner comes flying out of my wallet at the end of a chow mein, just after I put the rectangular foil box thingy it came in down. So I have absolutely no idea where this idea came from, or why it would be so stuck in someone's mind that they'd resort to the Defcon 1 of responses: "disappointed". I thought I'd ask around just to make sure I'd not been rude to pretty much everyone, and they'd all been too British to complain or say anything about it. Nope, turns out that nobody's ever heard of this. So why would someone get it into their head that this is the case?
It's for this reason that I was utterly "disappointed" with a mobile company recently. I shall not name them, but I will say that they were so indifferent with their name they could only be bothered to use a single number. I ordered some mobile broadband from them back in August 2010, only to find that there was more signal coming into my place from outer space than there was to my dongle thingy. On their suggestion, I should give up on it and send the whole shebang back, and cancel. This I did, back went the dongle thingy, and cancelled was the agreement.
Except that it wasn't. Turns out they'd forgotten to cancel the contract.
Again, I frequented their call-centre to be told that, oops, they'd forgotten to do this. Not to worry however, the initial £4.99 that I'd paid was to be refunded and the whole thing was absolutely cancelled, in the words of the well spoken man on the phone; fo' sho'.
Except that it wasn't. Again!
Turns out that there's approximately seven different departments for every person on earth and, like the Enigma Code, must be organised just so. They'd even been taking the money from my account every month without batting an eyelid! So after cancelling the Direct Debit and speaking to what I can only assume to be the offices on the 7th moon of Saturn, they said they'd cancel the agreement, refund me the money and call me back the following week to confirm this had all gone ahead. Which it did..... except they didn't call! Really?! It was luckily all resolved before I snapped and ended up playing the Benny Hill theme tune down the phone at them.
Suffice to say, this mysterious single-number-named phone company has joined the list of two phone companies I refuse to use, the other being another unnamed mobile outfit that seems to see it fit to sponsor Lewis Hamilton's baseball hat. I'm just curious though, how did they get it into their heads that this was normal? How can it take three separate attempts to do something so simple? Why do some businesses insist on making life so very hard? It's not like I'm going to give up and use my non-existent broadband, so why waste my time?
However the opportunity in the problem here, is if a business can actually take it upon themselves to actually be very efficient, and avoid the circus of appearing to have hired a stuffed toy to plan their department layout, then word will get round and they will be the kings of the castle! Then, I won't have to wonder about how they're getting by and I can enjoy my Chinese without being "disappointed".
Especially if it's being paid for by someone else. Hey, who am I to complain....
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