Showing posts with label Nicky Minaj. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicky Minaj. Show all posts

I Don't Watch Too Little TV, I Watch The Best TV. There's Difference...

>> Thursday, January 26, 2012

If I stood up and announced that I was planning on selling my shins for medical research, I'd probably not get a strange look. Instead, people would probably point out that without shins, I should now be called Tony (toe-knee, get it? I'm here all week, try the beef). If I decided that I would now sell all my worldly possessions, set up in a tent and wear nothing but shoes on my ears, I'd barely get so much as a raised eye-brow. Even if I went so far as to declare that I will dive into the sea with a Great White Shark because I thought he wanted a hug, then you'd probably come up with a reason or two to agree with me. However if I tell people that at most I watch probably two or three hours of TV a week, they stand there gawping at me, their jaw sitting on the pavement three feet away from them, while they wonder if I've injected an extra strong dose of stupid. I might as well have said that 1+1= a jam sandwich, the reaction would probably have been better. But, honestly, I watch so little television simply because I am too busy doing other things, like working, studying and maybe using the screen to work my Xbox. If I do watch it, it's normally to watch one of the endless Top Gear re-runs on Dave, new Top Gear when it comes on, and sometimes Come Dine With Me.

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Someone's Got To Love Them, I Suppose...

>> Thursday, January 5, 2012

On weekday mornings, my routine is well considered and rehearsed. Currently, it begins with my alarm going off about an hour before I need to get up, mostly because it's January and it's still dark when I get up, and my brain will simply refuse to acknowledge any possibility that it isn't 2am with at least three more hours of Z's before I need to rise. Therefore, I spend that hour before I get up constantly pressing "snooze", which I know is a stupid idea but at the time, I'm usually so tired that I've got a better chance of working out the answer to the Middle Eastern Conflict than I have of figuring this fact out. Anyway, many people tend to read the papers at this time, as do I. However bearing in mind that it's 2012 and not 1972, "reading the papers" to me consists of checking Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and whatnot on my phone for about 10 minutes in bed. Finally, after the epic battle between the recognition that I need to actually get out of bed and the comfort of being toasty warm while in bed, I proceed to the shower in a manner that might convince any onlookers that the zombie invasion has begun. Only once copious amounts of tea have been ingested with so much sugar that I should be classed as a level 3 explosive do I start to resemble a human and I can get on with my day.

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