Too Busy For TV? Apparently So.

        Now I may have mentioned this before, but I don't really watch TV. If I catch an hour a week, then it's a fair bit for me. Not that I have anything against TV, mind. I just don't watch it. I have a TV, but that's because I have an X-Box and it would be a very noisy and pointless decoration without one. Plus, you've got to centre the sofa around something. However even if I was overcome with the swelling and irresistible urge to be able to join in knowledgeably when someone asks "ooooo, did you see what Dot said on EastEnders the other day", I don't know how I would fit it in. I mean, I barely have enough time to do do everything I need to do as it is, let alone joining the rest of the country with four hours a day watching people in Essex say "er ma gerd" and someone in America say "gee" a lot. Also, as I've possibly mentioned before, my house lacks an actual arial in the roof, meaning that I'd have to spend even more time climbing up there, staring at the wall and pretending I know exactly what I'm doing before giving up and ringing someone, possibly called Nigel, to do it for me. Then I can spend many hours sitting in a semi-catatonic state watching other people pretend to be other people, just so I can join in a conversation that I wasn't really that interested in anyway.

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The future moves very fast. Maybe a bit too fast?

Sometimes, I imagine what would happen if I travelled back in time by forty years or so. I do this occasionally, and wonder what I could do. Sometimes, I'd imagine I would find my parents and give them a list of every massive company to invest in and when, and how I'd convince them I was serious and not just an escaped lunatic. I then try and imagine quite how I'd explain how my phone works to someone who has only just seen the emergence of holograms, or how a fancy touchscreen works when the most advanced thing they own are flared trousers and a moustache. They'd not get where the curly wire was hidden, what an Internet was and if having something called a "face-book" app meant I was a stalker. Then, they'd rip the thing to pieces wondering where you put in the film for the camera. To say they'd be confused and scared is an understatement; this is a generation that thought Jim Davidson was funny and that colour TV was showing off. How confused would they be? Well, what would you say if someone turned up with , say, an iJumper that changed colour depending on your mood, or thickness depending on prevailing weather conditions? It'd blow your tiny mind, wouldn't it? What about an iPen that doubled up as nail clippers, or allowed you to turn the volume down on the TV? Think that's a silly use for a pen? Well, I bet Mr 1972 thought that a thesaurus, piano and a torch would be pointless on a telephone, but mine has all three, and more!

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