What To Really Not Ask An Interviewee For

        As much as I try, I really can't imagine a worse job to do than to be the guy who tests cat food. Yes, apparently, testing cat food is a thing. What it needs to be tested for is beyond me, but there are people in this country, working for cat food makers, who find themselves lying at every party they attend when that inevitable question is asked. I can't blame them though, I mean, can you really imagine trying to defend it by saying that at least the lunch is free and you can eat on the job? Also, how does someone get that job? Do they apply via an advert or do they try and get promoted to cat food taster? So many unanswered questions! Also, how do you know what cats like? They might want hint of mouse, or whatever the tassels on your dining room rug taste like. Either way, It must be tested, and someone's got to do it. It's the same problem you encounter when something goes wrong on a 1,700ft antenna station. Not at the base of the antenna, where it's all accessible and safe and completely non-vertigo inducing, oh no. Right at the top! Well, this happens. If you don't like heights, you'd better be sending off your CV to Go-Cat!


        Now, there's obviously dangerous jobs, like being in the Army, climbing that 1,700ft antenna or being a deep-sea fisherman. There's unpleasant jobs like Mr cat food man or, even worse, working for Piers Morgan. There's frustrating jobs that pay far too low, like the retail jobs I mentioned last week. Then, there's the office jobs that I also mentioned as well. I know what I'd prefer. One thing I've always liked about office jobs is the fact that when you finish and go home, that's it! You're done! Jenkins in Accounts could spill his mug of coffee all over the fax machine, causing the report he's been waiting for to burst into flames thus rendering it as useful as a bikini waxing service at the North Pole, and you'll be none the wiser until you come in again the next day. Unless, you're a Manager, in which case you'll be phoned and told about it, then it's simply a case of taking the following morning off and head down to Staples for a new one. There are few pitfalls, other than running into the Peter Principle that I also mentioned last week, to working in an office job, and the ones that do exist can be avoided by using common sense. take Facebook, for example: if you want to post statuses about how you might attempt to set fire to your bosses knees, or that you would like to invite him to ingest a hand-grenade, you're going to have a bad time. These are pretty obvious, however. Just stick to honesty and the facts, and you should get along fine.

        Except recently, there have been cases where even doing this can land you in trouble. Lately, it's transpired that some employers have asked potential candidates for jobs for not only their CV and work history, not only some bits about "them" as a person, but for their Facebook login details. They literally want to look through their Facebook account, with them there, to see if there's anything in there that might run contrary to the moral beliefs of the employer or company. Apparently, to ensure that a candidate is right for a position, an employer doesn't only need see a good work history, but they need to see if the candidate went out drinking for his friend's birthday last week, or what he wore to a wedding four months ago. What if you're a candidate who really needs a job? Are you going to refuse? What if you've had no other interviews and the bills are piling up? What do you say if they use that awful line that makes me want to punch the person saying it "if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear"? Well, if you're a good person and are in no way subscribed to a fan-page like "racists unite" or "like this if you think Hitler was right" then what do you have to fear? Why wouldn't an employer want to make sure he's not about to bring a raging anti-semite into an office where half the workforce happen to be Jewish?

        I'll tell you why. First, let's ignore the gross breach of privacy. Let's also ignore the fact that it says the employer will never trust their employees while they're there, nor are they interested in their employees' best interests. Let's also ignore that it would breach the T&Cs of your agreement with Facebook. Quite simply, it's a gold-plated, access-all-areas invite to a chunky lawsuit. Put very bluntly; you can't refuse to employ someone based on their age, disability, sexuality, religion or race. This is why you simply DON'T put these things on your CV. It doesn't just protect you, but it protects the company from a lawsuit for not hiring someone based on these. By demanding access to their Facebook and finding out that the interviewee is gay/disabled/(insert religion here)/pregnant, you're practically forced to give them the job, unless you want to be dragged through court, that is? If you ask for this information, you end up with a team of people who are probably not qualified for the job, who don't trust you, whom you don't trust, and nothing gets done. It's a stupid idea, implemented by stupid people.

        So what I'm going to do is create a fake account, listing myself with everything about me that an employer cannot use as a reason to refuse to hire. Then, when I'm asked to give my details, I'll pretend to "email" my "human rights Lawyer" and demand £100,000 a year. Plus car/pension/window office.

       Whether I can do the job is irrelevant. If someone wants to be stupid enough to ask for that information, I'll be smart enough to use it to my advantage. Plus, it'll always be better than testing cat food.

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