Just A Lazy Man, In A Complex World.

        After a lifetime of observation of both myself and others, I've finally concluded that laziness is as natural as having eyes. Just think what you do when, say, the batteries in your TV remote start dying. Do you do the sensible thing and get some more, so you can suddenly change over in case they throw Hollyoaks at you without warning? Of course you don't. You do what everyone else does: presses the button harder, because that's clearly how they work these days. Or, if it gets really bad and you want to break out the big guns, you take the cover off and, for reasons that are clearly not backed up by any logic whatsoever, you roll them around a bit in the hope that this will remind them of their duties and they'll buck up their ideas. Then, when they totally give up and the TV remote takes on the shape and usefulness of a child's toy phone, you still don't do anything about it for weeks. What about that squeaky door that annoys the hell out of you every time you open it? You could go and get the WD40, but........ well, it's suddenly not that bad, right? In fact, you could leave it to squeak until it makes a tune! Or, like these people, you might discover that it sounds like Chewbacca, and the Internet absolutely must know!

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In HollywoodLand, Money Isn't Needed. In The Real World....

I'd personally love nothing more than to live in that funny colourful world where Hollywood Script-writers are grown. I mean, if you look at some of the stuff that they make, it sounds like absolute bliss, where wildlife programs don't end with the seal killing the penguin in a sloppy red mess. Instead, the naughty seal just misses the resilient penguin, who goes off afterwards with Mrs penguin to open a Fair-Trade vegan cafe.  Are you a hopeless romantic? Well don't worry, there's tons of case-studies from Scriptland that tells us that you'll get that 6ft Supermodel that you're pining after in the end. Your boss being a megalomaniac? Never fear, he'll be usurped in a fit of frustration and throwing of many papers, followed by the entire office living happily ever after. Born with facial features that don't have a sense of teamwork? Never mind, your personality will shine through! It's all so rosy and middle-class.

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