Spending So Much Time On Other People's Fun, You Forget Your Own!

The other day, I made the choice that unless it was going to be for a very good reason, I would not bother organising a party again. There are very few jobs that are as thankless as organising a shindig for people, whether it's a birthday bash, a corporate do or a wedding knees-up. Especially the last one, since the one thing that sticks out like a sore poke in the eye is politics. Since when did politics become a factor in a wedding? Sure, you want to invite a mate along, but that will mean that this person will be upset with you, or if you invite your fifth cousin because she's great fun, you are somehow obliged to invite every member of your family, regardless of the fact that you have no idea who they are or that they haven't seen you since the concept of you taking your first steps was discussed in the future tense. Why? It's my party. Don't like it? Diddums. Even my Mum fell foul of this logic recently, by suggesting I needed to invite her cousin. I don't even know who that is! If you make a rule of "No under 18's", then you instantly become a Commie Nazi relative hater. At least with a corporate do, you're doing it to please your clients!

Once you've dealt with the invites, you have the boundless fun of watching everyone you know suddenly transform in front of you into a wedding "expert". "Oh, you have to have button-hole flowers". When you ask why, the answer is always "because". Says who? If I want to organise any such do with a beach theme or a banana theme, I will do precisely that. If I choose to have a fish & chip van or an ice-cream van, then that is what you will see. If I look at "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" and think it's a good idea (I truly massively don't), then it's my choice. If I think that the idea of monkey butlers on roller skates is the best idea I've ever had, then expect to bend down to reach your drinks and to have to tip in bananas. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that when it comes to organising a bash like this, too many people spend too much time telling you how to do it right. I don't really want to know how to do it "right", I want to make it fun, which is often the complete opposite of it. Then there's the budget. I still chuckle at the memory of a guy I know asking his daughter what her budget was for the wedding, only for her to reply "but how will I know what my budget is until I know what I want". Hmm.....

Thing is, it's not just the host that gets all the misery. Have you ever been in that position of having to get ready to go to someone's wedding party, not because you know them and want to wish them well, but because your partner does? It's dehumanising, you're not even referred to as a person on the invite, instead you're demoted to "plus 1", which sits in the hierarchy next to the bored waiter and those same uber-distant relatives who have had to write the Bride & Groom's names on their hand because they are too drunk to remember them. You're not there because of a good reason, you're there because.... well, because! Unless you suddenly come down with a bad case of death, there's no way out of this situation apart from resigning yourself to the corner with all the other "plus 1's". Ever the optimist, I like to make a game out of these situations. My current favourite is to see what the biggest lie you can tell and get away with. I don't mean stupid ones like telling people that you are actually a millionaire when you're not, I mean pretending that you used to test jet-packs or that you are working on a top secret project, and you cannot reveal anything apart from the fact that it involves squirrels and one of John Major's shoes. Who cares, you're most probably not going to see these people again in your life. Go for it!

But as much as I would still go to the stranger's evening do to cause verbal mayhem, there's one occasion that has just arrived via the medium of Facebook that is so dire that even pretending I am the guy who dared Charlie Sheen to go on about winning wouldn't remedy: a school reunion! Honestly, I can't think of anything I'd rather avoid, up-to and including the Plague. School for me currently sits in that section of my brain that has passed the "rose-tinted glasses" phase, and that's fine with me. However, I can't honestly think of anything more unbearable than the idea of meeting people from years ago that I didn't want to speak to, only to spend the evening listening to them embellish their lives since graduating to offset the fact that their dreams of becoming a business magnate with some fashion modelling on the side didn't really materialise. This ignores the fact that I have my own ideal "school reunion" whenever I want. This normally involves me asking my friends if they're going down the pub. Those who I want to stay in touch with, I have done. Those that I haven't stayed in touch with, are normally in this category for a good reason. Therefore why I'd miss a night of actual having fun for a night of remembering why you didn't stay in touch with anyone.

So I've clicked "Not attending". Instead, I will simply continue with the far less frustrating job of organising a wedding that we want, and less time worrying about what everyone else wants. That way, everyone will have fun, and I can concentrate on more important things than colour schemes, or roses for my button holes. These are not fun, and that is supposed to be entirely the point!

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