Why Some People Will Believe Anything, Because "Someone" Told Them.

Last week, Mrs Max and I found ourselves in Tesco. Nothing out of the ordinary as, just like everyone else, our Sunday was filled with the urge to swing by the nearest zombie holding-pen that we call supermarkets to fill a trolley with some stuff that we might be able to combine into something resembling a meal, and most stuff we really fancy at that time. This is why it isn't a good idea for people to go food shopping when they're hungry as apparently, you will end up with a trolley-full of Smarties. At least, I would be. However I also wouldn't be, as there are only a tiny number of things that I refuse to try and get used to: taking a bus being high up the list, but one of them is weekend supermarket shopping. I can't stand any supermarket when they're busy; why does the weekend turn the shoppers into the living dead? I mean, if I have a trolley and I want to take my time deciding which brand of Wine Gums I can most easily convince Mrs Max are entirely suitable for a Shepherds Pie, I will dump my trolley out of everyone's way. This is because I'm not five years old and can tell that this will only serve to annoy everyone else. So when everyone else seems quite content with just abandoning theirs in the aisle, it starts to make me want to scream. So, to avoid the frustration, I am simply left near the entrance in the magazine aisle, which I have renamed "The Man Creche". I wait. I read Top Gear or whatever, and am collected once the milk and Tiger Bread have been bought.

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So much technology, I don't even have to leave the house!

I like to take time over my appearance. Even if I'm tired, or just going out for a pint of milk, I can't bring my self to just "throw something on". This doesn't mean I'll preen myself for six hours just to pop something in the wheelie bin, but I will make sure that if I venture into a place where others will clasp eyes on me, that I have at least done my hair. Who knows who you will meet. I can't stand seeing some people who are in town looking like they have just woken up. In a hedge. After a night of vodka and heroin. There's a style to the stubbly look, but the hobo look doesn't fall into the category of "win".



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The Future Is Here..... Apparently.

Who out there has a "smart phone"? You know, the kind that lets you check Facebook, watch Germans fall over on Youtube and generally waste time browsing the web, all on a phone that has a battery life of about 34 seconds?

Now, who has the Internet? Well, all of you obviously, otherwise how are you reading this? Maybe on a "smart phone". I love all this technological shenanigans personally. I get unbearably excited over new gadgets that do all manner of non-essential yet interesting stuff. I'm sure most of you also use Facebook (Ultimedia does) and I'm sure a fair number of you use Twitter (again, Ultimedia does).

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